Hey Hey Hey

Well, I decided that even though the fatness continues, I can still put WAY more effort into my appearance. I'm going to be the best fatty I can be. To wit: I have purchased (from Target) and implemented Crest Whitestrips AND a fancy Olay skincare regimen. Perhaps my shiny head will distract others from the hot mess below. I have noticed that using the Whitestrips interrupts key gorging times during my day, so this helps somewhat. Maybe I'll just continue using them until my teeth are radioactive, and I can fit into my college jeans. I also got my hair cut, but I'm not sure it was actually an improvement. But, they massaged my head, so it's totally worth it. From Kohl's, I have purchased a handful of items that actually fit me (don't even ask the size- I could puke). Kohl's, I tell you. Swank! As this shopping spree took place the evening before our season-opening game, most of my new garments are "burnt orange". Now, this is not a color one normally stumbles across outside of the UT coop store, so I am enjoying the feeling that not only am I school spirited, but I am also (accidentally) actually wearing a current color. Oh, you know, it's in all the fall lines... Chaps, Dana Buchman, Sonoma. It's white hot.

In hormonal news, I only really had that one wretched day, so maybe this pill will work out after all. Anyway, it's an improvement. I'm hoping that if I feel more positive overall, I might actually be motivated to make some sort of real change. Oh- I did switch from coffee creamer to 1% though. Look out Nicole Ritchie. I saw in the Target ad that M&Ms are on sale. Cute, holiday-themed discount chocolate. Damn them! I must resist!

And here's a little nugget just for fun: All 3 kids have diarrhea. Little J started Thursday, and the fun just keeps on comin'. Nothing says "brand new me" like being up to your elbows in poop.

Crash

Oh well. I had high hopes for this new pill I'm on, but here I am having a psychotic episode. Probably doesn't help that I had both twins in the ER in the past few days for freak accidents. Mommy confidence at an all-time low. Unfit mother as well as unfit fat-ass. How much more of this before the term clinical depression applies? Did I shower today? Nope. Did I even get dressed? Well, I added a bra and shoes to my pajamas (although, pjs are yoga pants and t-shirt). I'm thinking that if I slept in it, probably I should take it off for the daylight hours. Ugh. Can't even complete this post- just sitting here staring at it. Hate. This.