Lately, I've been thinking about this line I heard in a movie years ago, from a mother to her daughter, about a loss she'd suffered. It went something like: I have a stone in my heart for what's happened to you.
This is just what I feel for my wonderful, beautiful, heartbroken friend. A cold, hard, heavy, just WRONG feeling in my heart. There is nothing I can do or say, and it's wrenching for all of us who love her, watching her suffer so horribly. And I'm sorry- I'm sure it would not be better if this had happened in March, but the holidays do not help.
She posted a response to someone suggesting that, if she adopts a baby, she won't know what she's missing anyway. God, I hope that in any small way, that's true. Of all the losses she's had and the mourning she's going through, I would be thrilled to think that she's ignorant of some small piece of joy she'd be missing out on, but I doubt it.
You- I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you all the time. It seems that you are not really ready to talk to your "lucky fertiles you like" but if I'm wrong, please say, so I can call. Or come to see you. I'm missing you, and the list of things I wish and hope and pray for you goes on for miles.
LAST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN :(
14 years ago
Oh Meg.
ReplyDeleteI refreshed my blog roll and saw that you had posted. Then I did a double take at the title.
Then I cried--bawled really-- as I read this out loud to Mr. LC.
You ARE a lucky fertile I like...someone I like very very much. Someone who can make me laugh like not very many people. And I don't ever want infertility to come between us. I just hate it so f'ing much and how I fear it is destroying me.
So thank you for this. I want to get together or talk but I am so afraid all I would do is cry. But sometimes crying together is better than crying alone.
Thank you for this.