Seriously. For about 3-4 days per month, I feel like I must do some/all of the following
ripping my skin off
running away to parts unknown
Today, for example, I have zero patience for my beautiful (if sassy) children. Do they deserve a mentally unstable mother? They do not. After putting them down for naptime (I imagine that they were as relieved as I was), I had to sob for about 30 minutes, while eating ice cream straight out of the tub. Do I feel better now? No. Now I'm just sadder and fatter.
I had to go back on the friggin' pill to try to get this worked out, and I'm going to try a new one starting Sunday, but so far... no help. My gyn suggested that exercise would also help this issue, which, while I'm sure that's probably true, made me itch to slap her. Yeah, lady, I'm fat. I get it. Did I mention that I'm feeling psychotic? You may want to watch your smart mouth.
It makes me crazy to feel this crazy, because- what's my problem? I'm sitting here in my big new house (actually clean- the service came this morning), with 3 beautiful healthy children, who I am lucky enough to stay home with. Boo hoo. That's the point, though. It's not really ABOUT anything- just brain chemicals on the fritz, but it FEELS like I live this pointless, miserable existence. What a freak.
Updates: My father's wife passed away in her sleep (at a great hospice) last Thursday. He was fairly prepared, and is doing as well as could be expected. My mother is on her way to MD Anderson today, and should get her results on Monday. My mother-in-law got some good news re: cancer markers, but I believe they're still going to remove her ovaries (so, I guess we'll know for sure w/ the path report?). Thanks for the support and well-wishing.
LAST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN :(
4 years ago