Monday, March 1, 2010

All Aboard the Crazy Train

Little J: So, I called the neuropsychologist. Well... she does not take ANY kind of insurance, EVER. So, for the pleasure of hearing a diagnosis I already pretty much know and getting referred to services we're already getting, it'll set me back $1800. Right. I guess she only wants wealthy autistic patients from Westlake. Anyway, I got another name from J's speech therapist (and another Dad in the waiting room recommended him also), and we have an appointment. July 27th. Sigh. We're on the list to be called if there's a cancellation (probably with 450 other families), so I hope we can get in sooner. I guess there's just a shortage of docs working in this area, given the demand, which isn't too surprising.

At any rate, Little J continues to do well in therapy, and enjoys singing along (sort of) with the Glee soundtrack. If we could just get him on table food, we'd be good to go. A couple of days ago, we were playing the kissing game (sit with faces in close range, and kisskisskiss until someone gives up- never me), and I thought: Okay- we're okay here. There are some things that are wrong, but there are a lot of things that are right, and the connection is by far the most important thing to me. I'm trying to get to a good place mentally with this whole situation. I mean, he's mostly okay, and if he needs a little extra (or a lot) in some areas, maybe I was meant to be his mom, because I'm in a position to give him more (as a quasi-nurse and SAHM, as opposed to a teenager with no patience or resources). Anyway, I'm working on it.

So, for the weekly AND monthly round up... only 1 pound this week, for a total of 8 for the month (184 from 192). Certainly not awesome, but I guess I'll take it. Obviously, the week before last was a total wash because I was losing my mind. This week, I was doing really well- under on points almost every day. Yeah, except for Saturday. When I went 18 points over. Well, we had cheeseburgers at Mighty Fine for lunch, and I had some adult beverages that night, so there you go. Originally, I had thought: I can lose 12 the first month, 10 the second, then 8 the third, to come out at 30 pounds in the first 3 months. Bwahahaha. I mean, really- this is ME we're talking about. I didn't get fat in 3 months, and I'm sure as hell not getting skinny in 3 months. Crazy talk. Honestly, if I could come near 20 pounds in the first 3 months, I'll be shocked and thrilled.

Also- I'm getting a food scale. I am soooo tired of counting out one ounce of chips or crackers. And I refuse to give up chips and salsa, one of the great pleasures of my life.

4 comments:

  1. That is ridiculous on the insurance thing! I mean, if you have insurance that covers something it is nuts not to get it covered. And what is up with the wait list? Ridiculous!

    And yes, he definitely got the right mother. NOT because you're a 'quasi-nurse' (we all are, 'cuz we did the AE program :) ) and not because you're a SAHM. He got the right mother because it's YOU. YOU are the one who loves him so intensely and fiercely it hurts YOU when something happens to him, YOU are the one who will advocate for him the most, YOU are the one who will not give up. YOU and only you. Well, I guess his Dad's not too bad either :) but you know what I mean. You guys will get through this, whatever it takes, because that's what you do. One step at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one breath at a time. This is a familiar mantra around the LC household :)

    And congrats on the weight loss despite the uber stress. I'd say that is a definite success!

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  2. Wow, I wouldn't have ever guessed a doctor of that type wouldn't take insurance. How awful.

    I think you are doing great on the weight-loss. I have GAINED weight this month. Yikes.

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  3. Are you freakin' kidding me??? That is outrageous that she doesn't take insurance! Glad you found another doc, but July 27 is ages away and ages to be in limbo land (aka worrywort land).

    I agree with LCIVF. You are the right mother because you are HIS mother and the one that loves and adores him and the one that is going to assure he has the best therapy, treatment, support, etc. to get through this, whether it be a speech delay or autism, I know you have that connection with him and it's only going to get stronger. How could it now? He loves the Glee soundtrack!

    YAY on the weight loss! 8 lbs. is a lot! That's 2 lbs a week and it was a short month! Keep it up. And NEVER give up chips and salsa. Too delicious.

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  4. I think losing weight at all with the stress you've been dealing with is a major win!

    That doctor not taking any insurance just seems like a major douchebag thing to do!

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